Birds Flying High

Hey world,

A few days ago I was walking down the street, sunshine streaming down onto my side of the sidewalk, and this song popped in my head:

Birds flying high, you know how I feel

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel

Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel

It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life

for me

And I'm feeling good. 

(first sung by Nina Simone, then Michael Buble)

---

The last time you heard from me was a couple of weeks ago, when I challenged myself to get in touch with myself, and find small joys and simple victories.

It hasn't been long, but I've taken it to heart, and made some great changes that have brought a lot of happiness, (surprisingly) very quickly.

First of all, I wake up earlier than I would every day than I would, just because life is precious, and I'll enjoy it more awake than asleep. 

And as soon as I wake up, I make myself a fruit smoothie which is sweet enough to make me happy, and healthy enough to make me feel good.

I make a to-do list for the day, and make sure I have a homemade lunch. Self-loathing for silly food purchases is easy enough to avoid if I prepare ahead of time. 

Then, my day begins, and I accomplish as much as I set out for myself - keeping my goals manageable and allowing time for composure. 

I've also re-dedicated myself to reading: to spending time in thoughtful silence with a good author and a good story to chase the loneliness away.

And for the past three days, I've also gone to kickboxing class, like I promised myself I would. It has been absolutely extraordinary, and though my body is in SO. MUCH. PAIN. (who invented staircases and inclines? I could kill them right now!)  I am LOVING kicking my own butt -- while learning how to kick someone else's! 

In my academic life, I've also found out that I can finish my Masters program by the end of this summer, allowing me to both finish my graduate program and start thinking about what my next steps are going to be.

It's amazing how quickly the fog burns up, and the sun streams down. How quickly anguish can turn into energy. How mourning morphs into motivation. How much harder it is to find the willingness to seek change than to actually make change.

Oh, freedom is mine, 

and I know how I feel.

It's a new dawn.

It's a new day.

It's a new life, 

for me....

and I'm feeling good. 

xoxo,

Marisa