About To Leave A Place

Hey World,

I leave for Tanzania in two days. I am no longer certain if I am ready or not. I'm packed, but my stuff is not yet in bags. I am prepared, but I'm not sure if I can will my legs to move me onto the airplane just yet. There are things on my to-do list that I can't seem to get myself to accomplish, because once it's done....well, then I will have nothing left to do but leave.

Is that what ready is? A really short to-do list and an insatiable appetite for puffed cheese snacks? If so, then I couldn't be more ready.

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Part of that whole "being ready" thing is saying a lot of goodbyes. You know, last hurrahs and final hugs. Goodbyes are hard though because you never know if a goodbye may be your last, or just a prolonged 'see you later'. It's hard because goodbyes for me mean having to admit that the big life decisions I make come with consequences -- that I'll miss family dinners and birthdays and parties and celebrations for another protracted period of time. Goodbyes are hard because we trust just a word and a hug will be able to convey our love and our sadness and our happiness and our missing-ness. And finally, they're hard because I have to remind people that while I'll be physically gone, I'm still able to communicate (daily, if wanted!) yet after I've said goodbye, most of my friends have already stopped texting me like they used to. 

Overall though, I guess I'm as ready as anyone could ever be. I'm excited for this new chapter. I'm looking forward to my new job, new friends/colleagues/roommates, a new place, a new routine. Not jumping up and down excited (I've been taking too many stress naps* for that), but thrilled nonetheless.

Yep, this is my "thrilled" face -- after 99 too many puffed cheese snacks. 

Today and tomorrow will be filled with finalizing some things: getting my stuff INTO their transportation devices (aka duffel bags), going to the bank one last time, setting up my loan repayments (yay to being an adult!), getting a final pedicure, and doing who-knows-what-else that needs to be done. 

And if all goes as planned, I'll have one more post before I take off!

xoxo, 

M

"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again." - Azar Nafisi

*PS: If you also stress nap, or know ways to stop stress napping, please share. It's become a newly formed habit and I don't like it at all!