I'll Love You Just The Same

Hey World,

Yesterday I was able to call two really special people in my life from Tanzania after 14 months of radio silence; one of my favorite students Boniphace, and my Mama K.

Boniphace and I

As soon as we heard one another's voices, we were both giddy. Boniphace couldn't stop jumping up and down on the other end of the line, and kept saying "I knew it was you!". Mama K kept laughing. And I walked down the dusty lane with the biggest, dopiest smile on my face. It was the happiest I've been since arriving (which as you know, is hard to beat) -- it just felt so good to have reconnected with two people who meant so much to me.

When I came home, it was my intention to write a blog post about the importance of being connected and staying connected to others, using my phone calls with Mama K and Boniphace to springboard into a larger conversation.

However, as I started writing, I remembered an old post I had filed away a couple of months ago (I do this once in awhile when I write something but it's not quite yet time to share it) about connectivity, love and relationships.

 I think this is possibly more fitting.

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Once in awhile, you have to get personal. Typically, I enjoy writing blog posts, or the occasional short letter in greeting cards (I love sending greeting cards!!!) but sometimes you need more than just a quarter sheet of paper or a one-track post to express some of the feelings that you've kept inside for awhile. I've talked about being unhappy on here, and I've talked about overcoming my own barriers.

But I've yet to talk about love, so I'm going to take a moment and do just that.

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Hi,

I know this is a bit after the fact and I probably should have told you sooner....but I figure now may be as good a time as any to tell you that I love you. 

I want to tell you that whenever I think about you, my heart sings; that you remind me about all that is right in the world; and that at least once, you brought a smile so big to my lips that my face hurt or a laugh so gargantuan it made it hard to breathe. 

I want to let you know that from the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew I would never forget you. I still haven't. From the instant we made contact, I knew the bond would be unforgettable. 

I'm sorry I never told you earlier that I loved you...it's just that, well, I don't know where you are now. Or how to find you. Or maybe even your name. Or maybe I know all of those things. 

But I can't say for certain...
Because the truth is: I do not just love you (even though I do love you).

 I love you, and hundreds, if not thousands, of other yous: people who came into my life and made me happy, who made my day better, or who put my mind into a yearlong tailspin. I love the yous who stayed, the yous who left, and the yous who I know won't stick around forever. 

Reasons Why I May Love You:

...because we saw one other as I zoomed by on the back of a motorcycle and instead of glaring at me, you waved back.

 ...because you remembered me from the day before.

...because you are one of my best friends.

...because you looked like the kind of person who is determined to become somebody, and I admire that in you.

...because the gift you gave me was so thoughtful, it made me cry.

                                                                               photocredit

...because you let me on the bus even though I didn't have enough change. 

...because I know you will always be there.

...because the memories we made can never be forgotten.

...because you looked to see if I was okay after I tripped on the sidewalk, and it meant a lot. 

...because I think you own your truth.


...because we will always be able to pick up exactly where we left off. 

...because you love me, unconditionally. 

...because you help me be a better me. 

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Despite all of these reasons, you might have moved on or you might have forgotten about me already. Or maybe, just maybe, you think about me all of the time too. I guess I may never know. It doesn't really matter...I'll love you just the same. 

I'll love you because you shared a moment (or a million moments) of your life with me, and for that, I will be forever grateful. 

xoxo,

M