#BecomingTeam Grimes: Our Wedding Vows

A couple of weeks ago I shared our wedding readings, and today I wanted to talk a bit more about our wedding vows.

Brady & I talked on the day we got engaged (hiking back down the mountain!) about writing our own vows. We loved the notion of spending nearly a year pondering and finessing the words we would say to one another that would try to capture our marriage promises. In fact, I started writing my vows in a draft document in February! Brady is a bit more laid-back, and wrote his on our route back to the US before the ceremony. 

Despite having no one look at them for comparison on content or length, and being extremely secretive during the writing, Brady and I were pretty darn similar in our messaging, which made my heart swell during our ceremony.

I also ordered these simple vow books, personalized with our names on them, for our ring bearer to carry for us from Etsy, and I would recommend them to anyone looking for something well-crafted and simple! Paperpunched has a bunch of different options, each for $20-30 a set. Now, I have them tucked in a 'wedding basket' alongside a few other items we'll cherish forever from our big day! 

(Sidenote: Did you notice the similarities!?)

While our ceremony was private, B & I have also talked extensively about why sharing our vows more widely is important -- they are not only to one another to hold ourselves accountable, but for our entire support network of family and friends to also assist us in accountability, which is why I'm really excited for this opportunity to highlight our promises to one another. In March, I'll be sharing what we've invested in to make these vows an integral part of our every day. 

 In the meantime, what vows did you choose to do, or are thinking about - traditional or custom? 

xoxo, 

M

All photos featured here were taken by Jen Hudson Photography. 

#BecomingTeamGrimes: Our Belize Honeymoon Video

Hey World,

It turns out preparing all of our #BecomingTeamGrimes wedding posts are taking wayyyy long than I anticipated, so this is going to be a 2017 project for myself!

 I'm still trying to sync across two iPhone photo albums, chase down photos that have since gone MIA...and waiting anxiously patiently for the last bit of our official wedding photos to come through before I can start sharing. 

In the meanwhile, you can check out the amazing Youtube video BG put together from our Honeymoon GoPro footage below, or here.

My favorite moment captured? Our utter panic while holding a nurse shark in our hands! 

I am looking forward to heading back to the United States for the holidays this weekend - cross your fingers that I've packed enough warm clothes!

xoxo,

M

Being Married (3 Months In)

Hey World,

How is it possible that this coming Saturday will be three months of marriage?
If all of the months fly this fast, we'll be celebrating three years in no time.

Celebrating about one hour of marriage here        Photo Credit: Jen Hudson Photography

I still haven't shared much about our wedding yet, which means I've been hesitant to share what being married feels like because I really do like to post items in order.

But I also like to be bold, so here it goes!

Being married means there's someone else at home to take over that breakfast, lunch, or dinner, you were really hoping to get off of the couch and make for the both of you if you could find the energy...

 Being married is the feather-light relief that settles into your mind and your heart which reminds you that you will never have to face anything alone ever again (unless you really want to).

Being married is spending over an hour to decide what movie to watch, don't pick a single one in order to go to bed before 10pm to read your books on a shared pillow instead, because it never was about watching a movie anyways.

Being married is bringing your vows and your wedding readings to life, into the day to day. (and in the new year, I'll share both our handwritten vows & selected readings, I promise!)

Being married, according to BG, is spending a lot of time looking at one another while sitting in the same room, and not finding it strange at all that it seems like a perfectly normal thing to do.

Being married is reminiscing a lot about "before" the wedding (oh, the memories!), the wedding (oh, the memories!), before taking on hefty topics about what's to come (and when, and how much it's going to cost, etc.).

Being married feels a lot like not being married, if you are already in love with your best friend and try to spend every waking minute with them to soak in their life and their love and their hopes and their fears and their ideas and their quiet moments and can't imagine any other way to spend your time. 

and finally,

Being married is the confidence that rests in your heart when you look over at your partner and truly believe that you could pick a point anytime in your future, and know that at the very least, one thing will remain constant. 

I love this candid my Dad took of us just after the wedding ceremony, it gives me the tingles!

Here's to the next three (weeks, months, years, decades)!

xoxo,
M

I Have A Brand New Name

Hey World,

While I am now weeks & weeks behind my marriage posts (they'll come slowly but surely, I promise!), I am just on time to share a bit more about settling into my new name!

If you haven't changed your name before...well, I'll let you in on a little secret:
  It's weird. 
Like, really weird. 

And for at least a month (and the foreseeable future), you're kind of in limbo of being called something new in some circumstances, and still being your old name in some circumstances. 

The only other time I've felt like this is when I looked in the mirror for the first weeks after I dyed my hair dark back in college. I remember every time I looked at the reflection, I could only give the Donald Trump NO! to the reflection I hardly recognized. Me? Brunette? Never! Then it hit me, no...I was brunette! AND to boot -- I chose it myself! 

Getting married and changing your name is more of an eventual shedding, while still hearing both names and saying somewhat-confidently "Wait, that's me!!"...but with a delayed response.

 First, you'll change your name on the marriage license, but it doesn't get processed until after you're pronounced husband and wife, and introduced to dozens, if not hundreds, of your wedding guests. Technically, your new name starts now!

Signing my new name for our marriage license! 

Then, you'll change your Facebook name (duh), and people will invariably contact you asking how they know you, and you'll have to say you just got married, and then they'll all respond "OMG! It didn't even register!" and (unluckily) don't unfriend you. Within the first week, this happened to me three times!

Then, you'll submit your documents to change your Social Security Card, which you'll soon find out is the Holy Grail of all things name-changing. Only after you get that card can you begin changing your drivers license, your credit cards, and every other thing that's printed with your name on it. I'm telling you...it's a process.

(( Luckily, there's Hitchswitch. If you have a printer, a confusion on how to change your name, and a love for putting things into the mail -- this website is for you! It will be worth every single dollar of their $29 package, and save you hours of second-guessing your sanity & ability to fill out government forms. This will now be my go-to gift to all of my female BFFs as soon as they get engaged! ))

At work, you'll ask to change your email address, and all of your work login accounts, and you'll get confused if the password will be the same, or different, and you'll realize you really shouldn't have so many different passwords everywhere, because you're quickly getting locked out of everything! Eventually, you'll figure it out. Eventually...

Finally trying out my new name at work! 

Meanwhile, as you dance all across the world wide web, you'll realize that your 18-year-old self clearly never expected to get married, because she used your last name on absolutely everything (who was that girl anyways!?). You also realize that this whole "name change" thing is going to take you at least a year to really align on...(and that there's really no reason for you to have a Nordstrom Rack online account when you've literally never bought anything from there...so you also have to delete online accounts too :)

You also -- for the first time -- now realize you are not the only person with your new initials &/or your new name. This means you are, in fact, now very late to the online name game, and everything simple is taken (MarisaGrimes, not the first). This will only further delay much of your social media changes, until you manage to come up with something somewhat clever, somewhat you, and 100% not-yet-taken (I'm still taking ideas!!).

But aside from all of the craziness, you get to share a name (!) with your life partner in crime, and hopefully, all the future little ones who will be joining #TeamGrimes later down the line. That's surely worth every headache and form :)

Now, I'm off to practice writing pretty Gs.

xoxo,

M 

#BecomingTeamGrimes: Getting to the Right Continent

Hey World,

One of the challenges I posed to myself before we left Tanzania for our stateside wedding celebrations was to try and capture every single moment because I didn't want to forget a second. 

While I'll be sharing lots and lots of the wedding day & wedding receptions in the coming weeks and months, I also want to try and capture the memories sandwiched in between them (because I write to remember). 

So the first part of our journey was leaving our house and getting to New York...which sounded fairly straightforward (and we packed light bags!) however from start to finish, we were in transit for more than 36 hours. They were mainly spent chattering away with one another about things we may have forgotten before we padlocked our front door & wondering out loud (and loudly) if anyone could tell we were on our way to getting married.

Brady also managed to take a few hours at a cafe in Dar es Salaam and write his vows (I'm not going to brag...but I started back in March). I also managed to go over to his table only three times, and did NOT peek, even though I really really wanted to!

The picture we sent our friends and families....in the airport in Dar es Salaam at 3am -- ready to fly back to the United States!

An amazing rainbow ring around our plane's shadow -- I think it was a little good fortune following us home. 

It was also the first time we went through all of the immigration, customs and security lines together...as a family of two! I know it might sound crazy, but I loved it.  I've been traveling for almost eight years by myself around the globe and it's so nice to not have to answer all of the immigration questions by yourself (particularly since we work abroad...and in agriculture)! 

In Syracuse, we landed, collected our bags, and headed straight to the Sherwood Inn's Seafood Fest to see my mom, and get a little post-flight snack. Skaneateles factored heavily into the coming week, so there was really no better place to enjoy a couple of hours of sunshine before starting to unpack!

xoxo,

M

Piga Kilele! (Our Tanzanian Send Off Party)

Hey World,

A few weeks ago I shared ten 'must haves' for a great Tanzanian Send Off party (as well as explaining a little bit what a send off party is).

 I'd now like to present some photo evidence that we in fact included ALL of the above, and hosted a truly amazing event for almost 100 guests! I'll let the photos below do most of the talking, but I can't stress enough what an amazing way it was to kick off our wedding month!

We hired a decorator and she transformed a drafty meeting hall into a spectacular send off party venue!

...Complete with table chandeliers y'all! 

Two of the best tailors in town created these for us - love them! 

We had some special guests in town for our party too -- all the way from Houston!

The entourage begins! 6 motorcycles, 2 trucks, a large minivan, and at least 4 cars.

Traffic circle dance party!

Parades and traffic circles = best friends! We went around and around...and around. 

Somewhere on our 3-mile long parade 

Our parade before sunset -- it lasted over an entire hour, and darkness did not stop the dancing!

Dancing the champagne into a frenzy...

Champagne - e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. 

Cutting our cake (and not knowing where to start!)

One of the maybe 2o-25 people we hand-fed cake bites too!

Dancing up the goat cake :)

 Brady in his happy place now that the goat cake had arrived.

Dancing up the gifts to the bride and groom - we ended up with a lot of gorgeous fabric, and some other great gifts for our home here! 

There's just no way to capture just how much food there was! This is maybe 1/3 of what was on offer. Of course, dinner was served last (after 10pm) because everyone knows people leave after the food! 

We are so so so lucky to live and work here in Iringa with so many amazing people -- this entire party was put together with many of our colleagues donating their time, money, and connections to make sure 9ur celebration was one for the books!

xoxo,

M

We're Getting MARRIED!

Hey World,

It's here. We are getting married tomorrow!

Friends & family are arriving to Upstate New York, the venue is being decorated, my wedding dress has been drycleaned and "fluffed" (whatever that means!), and I am now both reunited and satiated with my love of Heluva Good french onion dip. 

I'll be back and blogging later next week -- I hope you are ready for a lot of #BecomingTeamGrimes Wedding-related posts! 

xoxo,

M

Hey 

Why I'm Not Working Out Before My Wedding

Hey World,

If you google "bride" + "fitness" there are endless amounts of special 'bridal' workout plans to sculpt you into your best self before your wedding day. On TheKnot.com, creating a fitness plan is even part of your wedding to-do list! It's insane about how prevalent the conversation is, and it's even more insane how quickly your mind starts to buy into it.

For the past six months, I've kept telling myself "alright, next week I'm going to start". I kept feeling the pressure to jump onto the Bridal Workout Bandwagon. Where is my bridal workout plan? What needs toning? How many gallons of water do I need to drink daily to slim up? 

My kind of workout -- hammock swinging!

Time and time again I would set a date to get plan into action, actively resist doing anything remotely healthy all day, and end the night by getting into bed feeling both smug and sad. It took awhile to realize that I really didn't know what I was supposed to be doing.

Start not eating delicious meals or taking second helpings? 

Start drinking more water? 

Start...exercising?!

It just didn't feel right.

The person my fiancé fell in love with is someone who vehemently doesn't work out, who always takes seconds, and is perpetually on the brink of dehydration (by my own accidental accord, I promise). Why should the person who walks down the aisle on September 17th be any different?

Actually dehydrated here, post-safari game drive last weekend.
Hug = proof he still loves me.

Of course, I want to be my best self on my wedding day.
But I also want to be my most authentic self when I say "I do" - and that requires, well, not doing a darn thing.

Sneak peek from our Send off party!

B - Thanks for loving me as I am. 

xoxo,

M

Planning my Tanzanian Send Off Party

Hey World,

I mentioned a few weeks ago that before the US-based wedding festivities would kick off, there would be a party here in Iringa to celebrate with our co-workers. The details are all finally sorted out, and the shindig is happening after work on Friday, September 2nd!  

 A Send-Off Party is a common part of the pre-wedding celebrations here to kick off the wedding weekend. Although it seems hard to distinguish from a typical Tanzanian wedding reception, it's typically all about the bride, and getting everyone together and excited for the weekend festivities to come!

Our Sendoff invitation! (Written in Swahili by yours truly)

For the last few weeks, I've been working alongside some great coworkers who have helped me plan the sendoff party. Here are the top ten things I learned any good Tanzanian wedding/send-off party needs to have:

1. Easy-to-find Venue

While we are lucky that our office space is going to double as a venue, finding a venue which is easy for attendees to reach is an added bonus. I also realized that 100 guests is a "small" party, which made finding a venue easier for ours than most. Typical guest lists can range from 200 - 500 guests easily!

2. Interior Decorator

There are special event planners that have everything which you can rent for an evening (including set up and breakdown!) -- ceremonial chairs for the couple, head table decorations,  cake stands, and fabrics to decorate every corner of the room! According to my planning committee, the one we've asked to come is top notch.

3. Setting a Color Scheme

Tanzanian weddings are similar to weddings in the US where (often) the bride picks a color scheme for the day. Here, those colors (usually 3-5) are publicized in advance so attendees can coordinate their outfits to the wedding theme! Other groups of individuals may try to get matching clothing or use matching patterns to show affinity to the bride and/or groom. We've asked that everyone decorate with & wear kitenge, traditional fabric that comes in endless iterations of colors and patterns. Be ready for some outrageous colors in our pictures!

4. Selling Tickets

So here's what I think is the best part about weddings here -- the couple sets a price, and you have to pay to attend! Once you pay, you receive a personalized ticket to be used for entry. This helps offset the costs of the wedding, often by a lot! For our party, we are asking for a small contribution from attendees to keep to tradition, but not using it as a basis for our party budget.

A preview of our wedding kitenge with the tickets I'm decorating! 

5. Cake for everyone!

A great TZ tradition is cutting the cake...into small bite-size pieces for everyone to be served by the hosts! From there, the rest of the pieces are served more normally (though still bite sized). One of the best bakers in town is making a (hopefully colorful) sheet cake for our party.

6. Goat Cake

Another great TZ tradition that can happen at big parties like this is a "goat cakie" -- a whole roasted goat that's rolled out, and presented to the groom! B is SO excited for this. I am a little less excited, but roasted goat is delicious...

7. Dinner & Drinks

A large buffet dinner at parties here is served right at the end, as many leave after their bellies are full. We'll push up dinner a little bit so we don't get hangry, but will try to keep as much to tradition as possible. 2 drinks (beers or sodas) are usually included with your ticket! To put a twist on this, we are considering adding some western-style hors d'oeuvres so our Tanzanian friends can try bites of pizza or mozzarella with tomato, and offset our desire to eat dinner early!

8. Music & Emcee

No party is complete without a great sound system, good DJ, and loud emcee to keep the party going! Emcees are particularly important here because there are a lot of traditions to be managed, and lots of people to keep entertained. Two of our coworkers have offered their Emcee services, and I'm really excited to have them lead our friends through the night with their infectious energy. 

9. Champagne Dance

When the party is about to really start, friends of the groom take a bottle of champagne and dance/shake it ALL around the room -- it gets thrown from one to another, spun around, slid across the floor, and on and on until it's super bubbly then POP! Don't worry -- the back-up bottle will be poured for those who want a sip :)

10. Real-Life Music Video

I've saved the best for last, even though it is really the first even that takes place in the party. Bride & Groom get in the back of a truck and parade around town with music blasting from speakers and a procession of friends behind in other vehicles (motorcycles, cars, trucks, minibuses...whatever you've got!) for a little mobile dance party through downtown. At the same time, a videographer is getting the whole thing down on record -- including reactions of passerby. I hope it is as ridiculously fun as it sounds!

It's been a blast trying to put this together the last few weeks, and it's amazing how much my committee has been able to get done through some networking and well-placed phone calls! B&I have matching kitenge clothing for the party which we had made by local tailors in town, and the contributions from friends has been pouring in. Basically...it's time to party!

Tune in late next week for some pictures & party highlights!

xoxo,
M

One Month To W-Day!

Hey World,

Our wedding is now ONE month from today! <3 

I cannot believe how quickly the past eleven months have gone by...while a lot of the 'big' decisions have been made for a long time now, we've been keeping busy with the small, easy, last-minute decisions to make sure the entire NY weekend is near-perfect. I can hardly believe there are SO many things to think about!

(Don't worry, I've been keeping close tabs on all of it, and will riddle you with posts about the entire wedding celebration month after it happens!)

To continue with the wedding inspiration I posted a few weeks ago,  I wanted to share some pre-wedding purchases I've been making to prepare for essentially two weeks of wedding festivities AND our honeymoon in Belize! 

Basically, I decided that nothing in my closet here in Iringa is good enough for this momentous month, and therefore, went on a massive online shopping spree for sundresses, jewelry, shoes and not-so-casual casual wear.

Here's a sneak peak of what's waiting for me in Upstate New York:

I immediately snatched these up after my Big posted these on her fashion blog!

 Keds + Kate Spade + Glitter = SOLD. 

I am slowly moving back towards longer necklaces, and took the jump with this Akola necklace during a recent sale. PLUS the company supports artisans in Uganda & women in Dallas! 

We all know it: J Crew makes a mean chambray. 

Cannot wait to bring this back to TZ to wear to the office!

Small circular statement necklaces have been my go-to all year -- this one is no different :)

September might not feel like summer to most people, but Iringa is in its winter right now, and I can't WAIT to get in a sundress like this one!

I 100% feel this way every single day...

except on September 17th; then I'm sure to be up and at 'em! :)

Ummm, statement cocktail ring in wedding colors? I think YES! 

This is going to be the "I am so sunburned!" coverup for Belize until the aloe vera kicks in. 

Plus I bought Brady palm tree print swimtrunks so we match! (shhh...don't tell him)

PLUS about a million other purchases. I'm still on the hunt for swimsuits though, so if you know anywhere to buy a few fun mix&match pieces online for a decent price let me know!

xoxo,
M




PS: Wanna match? 
Sneakers  // Chambray Dress // Marble Necklace  // Long Necklace (it's still on sale!) // Floral Sundress // Palm Tree Longsleeve  // Nightdress  // Cocktail Ring

Belize is Booked!

Hey World,

 We're going to be back in the US of A in less than a month to start our wedding celebrations....which meant it was finally time to book our honeymoon.

We'd been looking at Belize for a while as it seems to have an insane amount of all-inclusive packages, as well as adventure-y things to do, some tropical weather, and beaches along the coast to boot...so we finally said YES and booked our tickets!

The trouble then was figuring out how to maximize our five days of vacation in order to hike a little, cave a little, relax a little, and then our two requests: swim a little (Brady), zipline a little (me).

 So this is what we* decided:

Tuesday:

--> Arrive in Belize City @ 11:00AM 

--> Hop on the next water taxi to San Pedro (Ambergris Caye)

--> Fun in the sun on the small island while staying at a small beachfront hotel

The view of paradise  image source

Wednesday:

--> Half day snorkeling trip to Hol Chan & Shark Ray Alley to see nurse sharks, turtles & sting rays

--> Water taxi back to Belize City

--> Get picked up and head 2 hours inland to our eco-resort (which has amazing TripAdvisor reviews)!

--> Get settled in

Nurse sharks!   image source

Thursday:

--> Adventure #1 day trip (we're thinking temples & canoeing)

GUYS THERE ARE TOUCANS! image source 

Friday:

--> Adventure #2 day trip (we're thinking going to see the ATM caves + ziplining)

Macal River, where we'll be staying   image source

Saturday:

--> Spend the morning at Table Rock resort doing on-site activities (or visit the infinity pool via canoe at a nearby resort!)

--> Head back to Houston in the afternoon

If you've been to Belize/Ambergris Caye and have any recommendations on places to eat on San Pedro, we'd love to know! 

xoxo,

M

*By we, I mean I. I am now designated as the official #TeamGrimes travel planner, with a track record of success in #LetsLanka, #BaroqueButHappy and #OhManWadiVacation.

A Dose of Wedding Inspiration

Hey World,

Despite knowing I would always have a wedding to plan at some point, I came into this past year with truly NO idea on what kind of ambience I wanted to create on our wedding day.

Thanks to Pinterest, Southern Weddings, and a former Wedding Planner as a mom, I've been inspired from thousands of miles away for our NY reception! 

Because I want guests to be largely surprised, below are some images from my favorite weddings featured online which have inspired me. Disclaimer: I am making no promises for what September 17th is going to have in store {but it's going to be amazing}! 

xoxo,

M

Sources: Frame, Hanging Scroll, Dance Floor Rules, Champagne, Side Tables, Wall Art,

Bonfire, Flower Girls, Leaves, Let's Eat Y'all, Love Sign